![\"SocialMedia\"](\"https:\/\/corehealingfromtrauma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/SocialMedia.png\" "\\"SocialMedia\\"")
\n\tI didn\u2019t plan to write another blog article this week but felt compelled to do so when I watched the video at the end of this article. As a psychotherapist specializing in working with trauma survivors, I\u2019ve met with thousands of men, women, and children who have experienced the horrors of sexual abuse. Called \u201cnumb survivors,\u201d many have frozen their emotions for years (or decades), while trauma\u2019s ramifications silently infiltrate every area of their lives. Current statistics vary, but as many as one in three women and one in five men have experienced sexual trauma by age 18. [Look at those numbers again: if ANY other social problem wounded that many people, wouldn\u2019t there be a huge public outcry over the pandemic threatening society?]<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t be na\u00efve: predators are everywhere<\/strong>–they\u2019re experts at infiltrating places people expect to be safe, where children and youth trust the people around them. Predators are in churches, Bible studies, private schools, public schools, sports teams, school buses-anywhere and everywhere people go. That\u2019s why every church and school need a safety plan, including screening all volunteers, having more than one family doing childcare in church nurseries, making sure staff office doors have windows, even being aware of texts from teachers and student ministry volunteers to those entrusted to their care.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not trying to make you afraid but certainly hope to help you be aware. Parents: if you notice a change in your child\u2019s behavior [if he or she starts having nightmares, anxiety, depression, or doesn\u2019t want to go certain places or be with certain people, etc.], listen! If your child says someone touched him or her, believe your child! I have been astonished to observe how many parents accuse their molested children of lying instead of learning what\u2019s really happening. Can children lie? Of course [all parents know this]. But, it\u2019s the parents\u2019 responsibility to be sure their children are safe and discover when something is wrong.<\/p>\n Children are targets for sexual predators, who use lures like:<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you want a daddy who will always be there for you?<\/em><\/p>\n Do you like secrets? And do you want to have fun? This is our secret. <\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m letting you do this with me because you\u2019re one of the cool kids, and only the cool kids do this.<\/em><\/p>\n This is the mommy and daddy game; I\u2019m helping you learn how to be a grown up. <\/em><\/p>\n No one else cares for you like I do.<\/em><\/p>\n I will teach you something most kids don\u2019t know, and you\u2019re going to feel great.<\/em><\/p>\n If you don\u2019t do this for me, I won\u2019t hang out with you anymore.<\/em><\/p>\n Those are only a few of the thousands of lies predators tell their victims to shame them into silence or manipulate them into doing what the predator wants to do. Sexual abuse is not a \u201clove relationship;\u201d it\u2019s all about power and control. The tragedy deepens when children bear the shame of the predators\u2019 behaviors, thinking they are somehow defective. Predators coerce children and teens into thinking they\u2019re the ones who initiated the sham \u201crelationship.\u201d Shamed into silence, victims often bear the pain alone for the rest of their lives.<\/p>\n Every. Single. Prostitute with whom I\u2019ve met has been sexually traumatized in childhood or adolescence.\u00a0Many addicts began numbing their pain with marijuana, alcohol, opiates, etc. in a vain attempt to silence their feelings of worthlessness and shame after experiencing childhood sexual trauma.<\/p>\n Predators frequently introduce children and youth to drugs to make them \u201cowe\u201d them something, eventually saying, \u201cYou know I\u2019ve been giving you a lot of\u00a0 __________ name of drug of choice] to help you feel good and be happy\u2026but it costs me a lot of money. So, today, we\u2019re going to a nice place where there will be some people who are going to ask you to do some things to help them feel better. By doing what they want, you can pay me back some of what you owe. [But the person being trafficked can never fully repay their debt with that insidious \u201cdebt repayment plan!\u201d]<\/p>\n It\u2019s worse, much worse, than I can share in a public blog. I can\u2019t share any of my clients\u2019 tragic stories, but I can emphatically say this: children, youth, and adults deserve better! We need to be alert to the pandemic that\u2019s already<\/em> happening. Since most survivors are silenced by lies predators told them, or by resultant false guilt, even those close to them are often unaware they’re quietly tormented, day and night, by painful core damage.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why I developed the Core Healing counseling protocol–to help trauma survivors heal five core areas of competence, safety, identity, purpose and belonging, while learning to think in new ways, experiencing the joy and freedom God designed for them in the first place. <\/p>\n Whether you’ve experienced sexual abuse or another form of traumatic stress, Core Healing from Trauma<\/em> can help you heal. But my prayer is that we can help people avoid senseless trauma. Before you watch the following video, please wonder how you can be available to help people live in safety. If you suspect someone is being abused, you can call the national toll-free hotline, at 800.96ABUSE (800.962.2873). If you suspect someone is being trafficked, you can contact the National Human Trafficking Resource Center<\/strong><\/a>, at 888.373.7888.<\/p>\n You can begin training your preschoolers, with something as simple as, \u201cWe don\u2019t let anyone touch the parts of our bodies covered by swimsuits.\u201d You can sit with your children and draw pictures of children at the beach, discussing what swimsuits cover. Predators, though, often counter what you teach. If a child says, \u201cMommy\/Daddy said we don\u2019t let people touch\u2026\u201d a predator might respond with, \u201cOh, but they didn\u2019t mean me. I\u2019m your friend \/ uncle \/ teacher \/ coach \/ mom\u2019s friend, etc. and it\u2019s OK if we touch each other.\u201d Over 80% of sexual abuse occurs with someone known to and trusted by the child, NOT a stranger.<\/strong><\/p>\n You don\u2019t have to be graphic but do need to be clear, using \u201creal\u201d names for body parts. You can tell your children, \u201cIf anyone asks you to keep a secret, you can tell mommy and daddy, because we are here to make sure you\u2019re safe.\u201d With older children, have computers in public areas of your home and monitor not only what they\u2019re watching but their history and the amount of time they spend on games, social media, etc. [maximum time: no more than two hours daily, but you know your child, and for many, less is more! If they\u2019re withdrawing from the family, isolating from outdoor activities, that\u2019s a tipoff that too much time is being spent in cyberspace]. Know what\u2019s on the computer games your kids are playing, because many seemingly innocuous games take your children into porn sites they can rapidly click out of when they hear you approaching. Sexual predators have voracious appetites, and they absolutely don\u2019t care who they hurt, or how much. Phones need to be given to parents at (or before) bedtime.<\/p>\n Please watch Social Media Dangers Exposed by Mom Posing as an 11-year-old<\/strong><\/a>. [Caution: there are some painful scenes–but they don\u2019t compare to the agony we want to help people avoid!]<\/p>\n Subscribe to my YouTube Channel<\/a><\/strong>,\u00a0 where you can see more about using “Core Healing from Trauma” as resource for healing!<\/p>\n
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