![\"ChildShadow\"](\"https:\/\/corehealingfromtrauma.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/ChildShadow.png\" "\\"ChildShadow\\"")
\n\t\u00a0This week, I talked about sexual trauma on Christian radio\u2014offering ideas to help keep children, adolescents, and adults safe from sexual predators. I wish I could simply ignore this painful topic, but I know too much. I knew nothing<\/em> about it when I first met a survivor in the 1970s. When she asked me to help her, I felt I had nothing to offer. Because I cared about her, I learned\u2014and kept learning, eventually writing four books and becoming a licensed therapist to help people heal from all forms of trauma.<\/p>\n Approximately one in three women and one in five men<\/strong> experience sexual trauma by age 18<\/strong>. According to RAINN, every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, and every 9 minutes, that victim is a child. More than 80% (some research indicates over 90%) of childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known to the child.<\/p>\n Internalizing undeserved shame, survivors often numb their pain<\/strong> with alcohol, drugs, activities, or a relentless quest for success. Even when they ignore it, the pain is still there, impacting the core of survivors\u2019 beings, including five core areas: Competence<\/strong> \u2013 Safety<\/strong> \u2013 Identity<\/strong> \u2013 Purpose<\/strong> \u2013 Belonging<\/strong>.<\/p>\n How can you tell if your child is being or has been sexually traumatized? A few of the many indications of sexual trauma include the simultaneous presence of behavioral and attitude changes, such as:<\/p>\n Perpetrators are experts at manipulating<\/strong> not only their victims but their families, infiltrating churches, schools, Bible studies, and sports teams<\/strong>, finding places where people will trust them to be alone with their children. Because they are likely already known to your child (and to you!), predators rapidly build trust<\/strong>, steadily grooming children to do what they suggest. Once alone, they might whisper, \u201cThis is our special game. This is our secret.\u201d \u00a0<\/p>\n Teach your children to say \u201cNO\u201d<\/strong> and tell you about anyone who asks them to keep secrets, explaining, \u201cWe don\u2019t keep secrets from our family.\u201d Repetitively discuss what touches are safe<\/strong>\u2014and what are not. You can keep it simple<\/strong> (\u201cwe don\u2019t let anyone touch the parts of our body covered by our swimsuits\u201d), repeatedly reminding children to tell you<\/strong> or another safe adult if anyone does something that makes them feel uncomfortable. Help them see<\/strong> they don\u2019t have to \u201cobey\u201d an adult who wants to do something they don\u2019t feel comfortable about\u2014like tickling them or touching them inappropriately.<\/p>\n A child\u2019s confusion<\/strong> becomes incredible, since some touches feel good, but inwardly they feel horribly ashamed, knowing instinctively this isn\u2019t good (even though the perpetrator tells them it is). Luke 17:2 describes God\u2019s opinion of hurting a child. Jesus said, It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.<\/em> The person who hurts children (or anyone else, for that matter) is the one sinning, yet the victim of sexual trauma blames himself or herself.<\/p>\n Parents and grandparents need to be proactive:<\/p>\n If you are involved in teaching, coaching, children\u2019s or youth ministry, in any way working with children or adolescents in Florida (and in many other states), you are a mandated<\/strong> reporter<\/strong>. What that means is this: if you suspect any form of abuse, you are required to contact the abuse hotline at 800.96ABUSE<\/strong> (800.962.2873).<\/p>\n\n
\n
\n\t\t\n\t\tSubscribe on YouTube\n\t\t<\/a>\n\t<\/h2>\n\t